Super Powers Here I Come

I left my window open last night and got 3 nasty bug bites on my hand. Am I sad about this? No, I'm ecstatic. See I work in the NUCLEAR medicine department. That means there's all sorts of radioactive material all over my building not to mention x-rays and probably lasers if I'm lucky. I figure there's a decent chance somebody forgot to lock up said radioactive material. Even as I type my ridiculously itchy bugbites are being bombarded with equisite, superpower-inducing, good ol' American radiation. Next time you see me I'll be climbing walls and fighting crime. Either that or I'll have gnawed my hands off from the itchiness. Plus I can never make babies, but that's probably for the best anyhow. Anyway, I'm going to go try and stick to a wall or something, maybe jump off a building to see if webbing shoots out of my arms in an instinctual attempt to save my own life.

-Unknown Itchy Bug Guy (Formerly know as Jason)